I've Just Gotta Be Me!
"Manifestation of “I Am In Barbados"
By Jean Aaron, TCc & Master Manifester
I promised that when I returned home, I would share details of my twelve (12)years journey to manifesting my recent trip to Barbados and explain the Neville connection.
First, let me start by saying that I am a PK or MK actually. My family were missionaries, Church Planters. (If you’re a “pk” or “mk” or even associate with one of these, you get my point of making this note here. If not, well no worries, it won’t leave anything missing in my sharing this story)
I discovered Neville Goddard about 25 plus years ago and discovered Neville and I had some things in common. We both had a vast knowledge of the Bible, the Word of God and we both had strict religious educations and backgrounds. And, I must also add, that we both love God and His Word as found in the Holy Scriptures. I found in Neville’s lectures, books and recordings a way of interpreting the scriptures in a way that not only brought a clear understanding but this understanding gave way to a different and new way of living, walking and moving into and through the Word of God. Basically Neville’s teaching opened my whole being up to a living experience of the Word of God, Bible, it’s teachings. It was all so unlike and actually it was in odds and contrary to what I had been taught growing up in the Church. I likely received the teachings and directions from likely hundreds of teachers, preachers, layman, and missionaries. Neville’s way of teaching and expressing God’s Word/Bible was so much less cumbersome, less restrictive, fewer rules and it was actually alive with the reality of the true nature of God.
I found in Neville’s teaching an understanding that resonated not so much in the person that I was. It wasn’t the physical me that was excited and receiving the much needed refreshing and nourishment that I was actually receiving absolutely each and every time I read, listened to, meditated on or studied anything I could get my hands on by Neville. After reading everything I could find and get my hands on by Neville, I became very curious about this mystical, spirit touching author and guide. (Even from the start I saw Neville as a guide) He was indeed my guide because for each understanding of the scriptures I acquired, I was led out of the darkness and shadows and ushered into the marvelous light of the Love, of the true nature of God. Once I bathed and soaked in that Love, that light, and the truth the truth of who I was began to show up as well. As any newborn who opens their eyes for the first time… I didn’t quite know what it was that I was sensing, feeling. I didn’t initially grasp the meaning of all that was taking place in my being. And unfortunately I was left alone, as a spiritual infant to figure it all out by myself. As an infant I was left alone to come to know and understand the reality of who, what and whose I was.
Those first few years as an infant… all that I could do was feed myself on the sweet and nourishing milk of Neville’s teachings. And suckle and drink I did daily for years. The truth is, I’ve read everything I can find by Neville at least twice and some things three, or four times. And, no! I do not consider myself an authority of Neville’s teachings. However, I am a lover of Neville and his teachings. I loved his work from the beginning and I will love it for always.
In order to avoid making this a book, I will move myself forward to about twelve years ago. It was about twelve years ago that I began to step into and began to live or make an attempt to live and actually experience the truth of who I was as that creative being, in Neville’s teachings. I began to recognized that all of the roles, labels, names, titles that had been given to me -this natural wo(man), 3D, earth bound person since my birth began to weigh me down. And I began to see that the true being, the true me, the original being that enter this reality as just awareness was overwhelmed by all that society and the natural mankind required of me. I not only began to feel weighed down, I felt smothered with all the stuff placed on me since my first entering this earth plane. I began to feel my true self crying out to be found to be rescued to be delivered. It was at this or that point I began to allow all the understanding that I fed on and that grew up on, well I began to revisit the Neville table and sat down once again to refresh, restore and remind and ultimately remember who I really was and what and whose I was. Neville’s understandings were still deep inside my being, actually coursing through me keeping me alive with light love and hope.
I was able to get up, stand on my feet and slowly but surely move away from that dark place of not knowing, not remembering, not really being. I began to BE MYSELF ONCE AGAIN. Slowly, very slowly at first… but I knew who I was. I AM the created. A Being created in the image and same stuff of the Creator and I slowly began to know and understand who I Am until one day - finally I recognized my creation and puzzled at first but continued the on my “I AM-ness”, my being and I ultimately discovered that I AM was always creating one thing or another… and it all came flooding back to me… I am the conscious awaked being, en route to enlightenment, co-creator with God/Universe/Creator/Father/Most High/One/All.
I realized then and there who and what I Am. That creator created in the image and likeness of the Creator.
It was at this point and time, those twelve years ago, that I began to seek evidence of the truth and reality of Neville’s teachings. I was able to move from state to state, living and just being in one or another state, actually living the states as mentioned in the Bible- in the Word of God. I began to recognized the living Word of the Bible as my being; as my own personal experiences.
It was about this time that I decided to deliberately do something just as Neville did when he wanted to return to his home Barbados. I had developed a love and curiosity about Barbados more 30 years earlier when I met a young lady named Maria. Maria was a co-worker on a part-time job where I worked while a student in college. Maria’s melodious accent was intriguing to me, I’d never heard anyone who sounded anything other than the long drawn out southern drawl. Of course, Neville accent was not as melodious as Maria’s but his British accent also impressed and affected me in a unique and haunting way. (sometimes I think and feel it were the sounds of these two Barbados natives that helped me easily soak up everything I did about the island as well as Neville’s teachings) In any case, remembering Maria’s accounts of Barbados and learning that Neville was equally in love with his Barbados. It piqued my interest even more as Neville accounted his lessons from Abdullah to manifest his return to Barbados. The story became a state of its own for me and a state that I easily began to live in and have my being. I didn't know it at the time, but it was reading Neville's story of his return to Barbados that I birthed the desire to go to Barbados, to be in Barbados. I'm guessing that I read Neville’s account numerous times over these twelve year and each time I read it, the idea must have sank deeper and deeper into my being until, I was eventually living some part of my being in Barbados. And then one day the Word gave way to flesh and I stepped off the plane in Barbados.
The day I arrived in Barbados and I stepped off the plane onto the tarmac, tears began to flow and they flowed as I took the long walk into the airport and continue as I found the customs kiosks when a concerned lady and inquired if I was ok and offered a hanky or tissue. (which I accepted and thanked and assured her that I would be ok.). I eventually pulled myself together, checked through customs and was off to my adventure of Neville’s and Maria (and now my new home) Barbados.
It was a beautiful visit and it wasn’t until one of” our group members, Chris reminded me that Neville’s earthly garments were buried on the Island that Made my way to find the cemetery and spent a nice hot afternoon , conversing, singing, laughing and crying with the spirit of Neville. I reminded him that he was a dancer and invited him to enjoy a medley of Louis Armstrong of which he agreed and I danced right there on his grace site to Hello Dolly, “Mack the Knife”, “What a Wonderful World”, “Two to Tango” and finally he sent me marching off to “When the Saints Go Marching in”… Of course I attracted some interested on lookers who watched from their grave digging duties, or stopped to warm me that it might be a little hot to stay too long dancing bout like that and other just waved. It was a special time for me and the time will long or forever remain in my memories where I can relive them as will.
Yes! I loved and enjoyed every moment of that experience and if there was one thing Neville taught me and reiterated that afternoon… is that it is me and only me who creates my reality and I’m so grateful that I created a life, a reality that included Neville Goddard. His spirit lives on and on and on and on and I Am In Barbados is proof of that reality!